This year I celebrated a significant birthday. It was one of those that made me cringe, and then do my best to ignore it. Society no longer classifies me as young, yet my elders still call me a kid. I am stuck in that middle place where you start scanning the mirror every day for wrinkles and then wonder if you can still get away with wearing that slogan t-shirt without looking like a fool. But I suppose the hardest thing about this birthday was when a scary concept hit me during a moment of introspection. Having no children of my own, and pretty close to "middle aged", what kind of legacy do I have to leave? And with whom? If my time here on earth were cut short, would I have made a difference in anyone’s life? How will I be remembered, or would I be remembered at all? Of course this could have resulted in a massive pity party. But this time God’s grace overshadowed my natural tendency of being an emotional thinker, and I began to write down the things that I would want to be remembered for.
I hope I was a good wife with integrity and good character. (Proverbs 31:10) and that I spoke with wisdom and offered good instruction. (Proverbs 31:26)
Was I a friend who loved at all times even through adversity? (Proverbs 17:17) Was I faithful in the little things? (Matthew 25:21) Was I joyful in hope, patient in affliction and faithful in prayer? (Romans 12:12)
Did I sing and make music to the LORD? (Judges 5:3) How often did I ask God to give me discernment that I may understand His statutes? (Psalm 119:125)
Did I always remember to bring my supplication before the Lord; trusting Him to deliver me according to His promise? (Psalm19:170)
That is the woman I want to be. That is the kind of person I would like to be remembered as. I want to be someone that my nieces and nephews will speak of fondly and maybe pass on little memories of moments spent with me to their own children. When friends recall times of testing, will they refer to me as a "prayer warrior"? Will my name come up far in the future when people are talking about hospitality?
As I mulled over these characteristics that I desire to have or am working on developing, it seemed like a daunting task. How could I ever reach those goals or live up to those standards? Of course, I know it will have to be with God’s help, but wouldn’t it be nice if in the meantime I had a role model? A woman who has already achieved these things in her life that I could look up to and emulate and learn from her experience. Wouldn’t it be fantastic to have someone like that as an example of the direction I need to go?
Oh……Wait a minute.
I do.
Her name is "Mom".
As a teenager I bucked against ever being like my mother. And in truth, we are very different people. But some aspects of our personality are the same (as is the case with any mother and daughter, I am sure). As I grew older I began to respect her opinions more even if I didn’t always agree with them, and I came to the point where I saw her not only as my mom, but also as my friend. Now I can finally see that those things I took for granted about her for so many years are exactly the things I should have been learning all along. I am grateful to God for placing us in a family together, and I am more confident now in whatever "legacy" I will one day leave. Because I know who I want my example to be.
